E.M.W.F.

I had a new experience this last weekend. For those of you who do not know, I lived in Las Vegas for a year. For those of you who have been to Las Vegas, you know the shows at the casinos are amazing. I have been to a few and have only good things to say. I saw Celine Dion and the Second City Improv when Sara came to visit and went to Tony and Tina's wedding when Lauren came. I saw countless bands perform at a number of casinos and enjoyed several dueling piano bars around town. That being said, I have never seen a show like the one I saw last Saturday at the Creek Nation Casino in Muskogee.

E.M.W.F stands for Extreme Midget Wrestling Federation. That's right folks, I saw Midget Wrestlers! It..........was.........awesome! It deserved every pause in the last sentence!

I went last Friday night to Boomerang Diner here in Tahlequah to get a burger to go. While waiting for my order I picked up the latest copy of The Current, which is a local monthly magazine that outlines everything going on in our area, be it music, theater or in this case, wrestling. The second page was a full page ad for the Creek Nation Casino in Muskogee. It listed several events going on over the next couple of months, but one caught my eye. I had never heard of midget wrestling, let alone the "extreme" kind, but it certainly peaked my interest. The more I thought about it, the more I decided that this might be a once in a lifetime opportunity. I had to go. And go I did!

The advertisement stated that the cost to get in the door was $10. It turns out that the event was free when I got there, which prompted me to quietly exclaim "jackpot!" It is turns out their was no door to the event. The wrestling match was being held under a big white tent in the parking lot out back. It reminded me of an old fashioned Southern Baptist tent revival with the exception of the drinking, smoking and cussing.

I was a little late getting to the casino, but made it in time for the first match. I was not able to take any pictures because it was a casino event. I was sitting far back enough that any pictures I could take with my cell phone would not be of any use anyway. The pictures included in this blog are from the EMWF website. These are the exact midget wrestlers that I saw on the tour.

If the midget wrestling were not enough, the sights and sounds from the entire event were well worth the twenty mile trek over to Muskogee. I was surprised at the number of women at the wrestling match. Women far out numbered the men who attended. The couple that sat in front of me seemed to be your average couple. He was sort of a want-a-be cowboy and she was your average girl next door, until she got a couple of drinks in her. Well, the beers began to course through "the girl next door" and the Oklahoma redneck that lived inside was unleashed. Her butterfly tramp stamp peaked out from below her shirt and here hot pink thong came out to say hello from above her jeans. She whipped out the Marlboro lights and began an intravenous line of Bud Light. Not five minutes later she belted out the first of many, "kick his ass Oklahoma!" Most of the midget wrestlers identified themselves with an origin of state. In one match, a midget from Oregon took on a midget from New York. Oregon played it cool and talked about how much he liked Oklahoma. New York chose to play it, uh, differently. Of course he got lots of boos, but all in the spirit of wrestling. The girl next door really seemed to like Oregon, and voiced it aloud many times over.

The midgets did a lot of trash talking. Some of it was directed at each other and some of it was directed at the audience. "I'm the sexiest piece of midget meat you'll ever see" was probably the best one directed at the audience. The midget from Texas was wrestling the midget from Arkansas and said to him, "when it's all over you're gonna be squealing like a pig." This led me to believe that he knew the movie Deliverance pertained to Arkansas, but perhaps not in which way. Regardless, the crowd was going nuts for anything the midgets said.

Midget wrestling was worth every $4 beer I drank! I saw camouflage, boots, cowboy hats, halter tops, muffin tops, tanks tops, bra straps, bandannas, thongs, beer drinking, smoking, chewing, spitting, trash talking, yelling, cussing and midgets. What else could you ask for? Oh wait, sexy midget woman who announce each round. Now that's a Saturday night!