Conference Call

This is a true story. The events described herein actually occurred. Names have not been changed to protect the innocent because I did not use any names. (Cue the Law & Order doink doink sound)

If you read this blog very much, you know I appreciate a good fart joke. I hope you do too!

I had a conference call this morning with four other people. Three were on campus in three separate offices and the fourth was in NJ at our home office. I was in my office by myself. I had closed the door and put the phone on speaker, like I normally do. The conference call started as scheduled at 9 o'clock. Pleasantries were exchanged and then we got down to business. I was mostly a listener on this call, so I was quietly checking emails, sending texts and doing other things more fun than being on a conference call. To be honest, I woke up this morning a little gassy, so I was happy to be off the floor for a half hour or so while on the call. I had let a couple of silent but deadly farts out during the first 10 minutes of the call. I was really hoping no one would come into my office since I was on this call and would not be able to vocally blame the smell in my office on someone else. Fortunately that did not happen. However, something else did. About 15 minutes into the call, our home office rep was speaking when I let another fart slip. This one was still deadly, but definitely not silent. He stopped mid-sentence. I cannot be sure that anyone or everyone on the call heard anything, but I am pretty sure that the sound of my fart did not coincidentally coincide with the exact moment our home office rep stopped speaking. He paused for just a couple of seconds and then started speaking again. Three out of the five people on this call were men, so by process of elimination I figure I would be the second suspect, not the first.

I guess I will really never know whether that was the fart heard 'round campus or not. One thing I know for sure.......I'm glad smellophones have not been invented!