Fries and Pies

I have to tell you about a great restaurant that you must visit the next time you are in the greater Claremore, OK area. Not in that area much? Well, me neither, but hopefully you will enjoy the story! We run the store at Rogers State, which is in Claremore. Because of this, DeWayne and I have gone up a couple of times to visit the store. We had to pick a few things up there that we needed to take back to our store. We went in the evening because the manager their, LaTonya, invited us to have dinner with her at the Hammett House, a locally famous eatery. She said they were famous for their fries and pies. Pies you may know about. Fries, perhaps not.

If you are not from the South, then you may not know that when an establishment is famous for their "fries" that we are not talking potatoes. The Hammett House has lamb and turkey fries on the menu and they are delicious! Until I moved to Tahlequah, my only experience with "fries" were calf fries. I had tasted them before and liked them, but never really knew of a place with them on the menu until I worked a summer at the Big Texan Steak Ranch in Amarillo. If you have never been there, you should go. It is a tourist trap, but the food is decent and the atmosphere is next to none.

One summer night when I was working in the balcony, I waited on a couple who were from somewhere in the Midwest. They were looking over the menu and I asked them if they would like to start off with an appetizer. The wife was looking at the list and said "Calf fries? What are those?" I knew what they were, but at the ripe old age of 18, I was unsure how to tactfully relay that information. I looked at her husband and he looked at me. He set down his menu, leaned back, and with a smile on his face said, "I'm gonna let you handle this one." Alrighty then. Let the stumbling begin! I said okay and then looked back at the wife. I stumbled over my words for a few seconds. You know how you start to use your hands to help create a picture of what you are describing when someone is just not getting it? Well, that is what I ended up doing. I ended up sticking out my hand and making a cupping motion. This did nothing to educate the wife on what I was trying to describe, but it did send her husband into hysterical laughter. "Well, they are the......you know, they're the......on a calf, they are the......." all the while making a cupping motion with my hands. The husband finally took pity on me and said, "Honey, they are Rocky Mountain Oysters." Recognition came over the wife's face. "Oh," she said. Then she scrunched up her face and looked at me and quietly said "We don't want any of those." Looks like this woman and I both learned something new. We each learned a new name for something I liked and she did not! If you are not aware of what "fries" are by now, we are talking about testicles. Sorry to be blunt. I will refer to them as fries from here on out.

Meanwhile, back at the Hammett House, they are serving up turkey and lamb fries every night. If you have had calf fries, they taste much the same, and no, they do not taste like chicken! Before Lauren came to visit last weekend, I mentioned to her over the phone that we should go eat in Claremore and have fries and pies at the Hammett House. Lauren said she was game. I think her exact words were, "Sounds good to me! I like fries and pies." Knowing Lauren I delved a little deeper. "Do you know what I mean by fries?" She said yes, but I quickly found out she was thinking potatoes. I got to relive the Big Texan story again! Thanks Lauren! I know we were on the phone, but I'm pretty sure your face also scrunched up when you said "no thank you."

If you are like me, your stomach growled as soon as you read the word pie. They have a list of pies they serve at the Hammett House everyday, as well as a special pie of the day. You can get chocolate, pecan, coconut cream, etc. All the staples. Pumpkin is noticeably missing, but whatever. When we were there last week, the pie of the day was strawberry. Many of you may know that strawberry anything is known to be my favorite. Well, if strawberry really is my ace, then I am holding a few trump cards. The biggest trump of them all is the buttermilk chess pie! Have you ever had this pie before? Be careful! You will take one bite and then want to crawl inside the pan and eat your way out. Buying one slice of pie in a restaurant is the safest way to eat buttermilk chess. They only place I have ever seen this pie on the menu is the Hammett House and The Coney Island in Pampa.

Awww, Coney Island. My mind is beginning to wander..........